One month in...

So we have made it to one month since D has come into our lives. Let me tell you, this month has sped by. However, all of the days have blended together into one huge jumble. I think that a lot of this is because of the lack of sleep we have been getting.

D has been getting better about sleeping at night. He has only been waking up once or twice a night which has been appreciated. However, sometimes he decides that he wants to be wide awake at 3 am. Well, I am not ready to be awake until 7 at the latest.

For a few days I was able to trick D into sleeping in a little bit longer in the mornings. I would get him from his bassinet and have him snuggle on my chest while I slept a little longer. This worked for a few days back when he was waking 3 times a night. Now that we are down to 1-2 feedings, he has NOT enjoyed our AM snuggle-time.

I am nervous to go back to school this week because there is SO much that I need to get done. Also, I am worried that my sleep deprivation is going to either make me cranky with D or make me too spacey at school to be an effective teacher.

This month has been one of the best months of my life. It has been an utter joy to watch D make small improvements. It wasn't until A and I were looking at the pictures/videos we took of D in the hospital that it really hit me how much he has grown. By my basic calculation, I think that D must be somewhere between 9.5-10 lbs. While he isn't the biggest baby in the world, he is getting so long. He doesn't even fit properly in his bassinet any more. We are trying to get him to transition to sleeping in his crib, but it has been a rough one for both of us.

We tried putting him in his crib for nap time. However, he would wake up almost the minute that his body touched the crib mattress. We did that for a few days until he started becoming super cranky from the lack of sleep. Now we try to put him in there at least once a day for a nap. Tonight we decided to give it a try and see if he can do it. The thing that makes it difficult is that D makes a lot of sounds in his sleep. When he sleeps in the bassinet next to me, I normally wake up a few times to see if he is actually awake or if he is just making noises. I worry that with him being in the crib which is a room away that I either won't wake up to his noises or that I will jump up every time he makes a noise.

I guess we will see how it goes. I think that in the long run D will get better sleep in a crib where he can stretch and kick without kicking the bassinet.

Wish us luck!

Leaving D

The other day, A and I left D with my mom so that we could go to Walmart. It was hard being away from him for the first time since he was born. However, I think A and I did a pretty good job. I didn't even call mom to check up on D. When we got back from the store, I wanted to hold him and cuddle with him all night.

Last night, I left D with A for 2 hours while I went to a meeting. I am glad that A is such an amazing dad because I didn't worry about the guys once. I am getting better..I am sure that it will be different if I was to leave him with someone who wasn't my mom or husband though. I hate it enough when people want to hold him.

Becoming Parental Units

A and I have decide to take on a new adventure: parenthood. D joined our family on July 3rd. D was a little delayed in joining us. He missed his due date by a few days, do on the 2nd, I checked ino the hospital to begin the process of being induced. They gave my Cytotec followed by Pitocin. A was awesome and massaged my feet throughout my contractions. The Docor thought that D would make his appearance by noon. However, I couldn't get past 8. After being at an or 4 hours, I decided to Italy get an epidural. I was hoping to make it though without one. Around 6 my doctor was growing concerned for D because with each contraction his heart rate kept dropping. To the doctors ths indicated that the cord was probably wrapped around the little guy. We then began prepping for a c- section.

At 7:11pm, 24 hours after being admitted to the hospital, I heard the cries of my little man. The worst part about having a c-section is not being able to hold your baby for an hour after he arrives. After the  hour was up, they brought me to my perfect little guy. He was 7 lbs 14 oz and 22 inches long. For a newborn, he was pretty alert that night. Thus began the first night of parenthood.

Now after being a full fledged parent for 2 weeks, I have to say that I love it. However, I am so sad that I have to go back to work in a few weeks. That also means I am super jealous of A for getting to be daycare when I go back to work.

One thing I didn't expect was to feel guilty about not holding D 24/7. For instance, right now, I put him in his swing and I feel guilty that I am not holding him and rocking him. Even though I have held him for 5 hours today. I feel like not cuddling with him is wasted time, but then again, I know tht I need to be more productive than I have been and that means that I can't cuddle with him 24/7.